Random Akatsuki Dialogues
by Notperfectbut
Summary: For Naruto lovers! And of course if you love Akatsuki! You'll get a glimps of the Akatsuki's daily life and how trouble starts... What if Deidara get caught for stealing money? And Kisame gets shark fin soup? Itachi getting busted drawing his lines on each side of his nose... Pain playing follow the leader. Konan's origami accidentally set on fire... READ!
1. Introduction

**A book with random dialogues in the base and on missions, everything from Deidara stealing money to Sasori dying.**

**Hidan getting his head chopped off and Kakuzu counting money all day.**

**The Uchiha doing his lines on each side of his nose and Kisame eating shark fin soup.**

**Zetsu getting hit by a rock and Tobi eating lollipop.**

**Pain being leader in the game "follow the leader" and Konan's origamis set on fire.**

**Read and enjoy!**

_**~NPB **_


	2. 1-The thief

**1-The thief**

Deidara's POV

Clock: 06:00

.

.

*Moving*

(Pink Panther melody!)

Da da, da da, da da da da da da da da da DAAAAaaaa...Dadadadada...

*Tiptoeing*

.

Look to the left...

.

Look to the right...

*Looking behind*

*Tiptoeing out of the room*

*Running through the corridor*

*Quickly turn around to see if anyone is behind*

No one...

'Phew!'

*Sneaking to the door*

.

*Scanning the room seeing no one*

*Tiptoes in*

*Slowly sliding towards the shelf, tension on every taken step*

*Slowly kneeling down and sitting*

*Reaching hand out in slow-motion*

*Opens up the drawer...*

O.O

'SO MUCH MONEY?!'

*Get a bunch of money out from the drawer*

*Counting them...*

'Only 12 bucks... Come on!'

"Deidara, what are you doing here?"

*FREEZING*

*Turning head slowly...*

"...Sasori-danna, un."

Sasori:

What are you doing?

Deidara:

"Um...Hm..Ehm..Well, I was just.."  
XI

Sasori:  
"That is the money drawer."

"What do you need money for?"

Deidara:  
"Well..."

*Rubbing the back of the head*

"Just...you know..."  
o.o'

Sasori:

"What, brat?"

Deidara:  
"You know...You see..."  
X_x

Sasori:  
"Spit it out, brat! I don't have all day."

Deidara:  
"I just.."

Sasori:

"Yes?"

Deidara:  
"Wanted to buy...something."

Sasori:  
O_o  
"You never need money... What are you buying?"

Deidara:  
"I was running out... Of.. AAAaaaH! This is so hard! I need to buy eyeliner because my old is running out!"  
O_\\

Sasori:  
O_O


	3. 2 - Tobi's art

**2- Tobi's art**

...At the Akatsuki base...

"Art is a moment of flee, hm!"

"Art is everlasting and external beauty, brat."

"Art is explosions! Bang!"

Sasori:

-.-

Art should be everlasting and external beauty, it should be forever.

Deidara:

Art is a bang, yeah! A sudden moment of flee, explosions!

Sasori:

"Art is everlasting, brat."

Deidara:

"It's a bang, un!"

Then...

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI LOVES ART!"

Deidara: "o.O

Sasori: -.-

Deidara: Hm.. Hey Tobi! What do you think art is? It's a moment of flee, a bang, right yeah?!

Sasori: ...

Tobi: Tobi knows! Tobi knows! Tobi mean that art is art! Look at Tobi's drawing! ART IS TOBI'S DRAWING!

Deidara+Sasori:

"X_x

NO!

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	4. 3 - At the office

**3**

**At the Office**

Once again, Deidara was going to have a mission...

*Knock! Knock!*

"Come in!"

Deidara:

"Leader-sama, you called me, hm?"

Pain:

"Yes, Deidara. You have got a mission."

Deidara:

-.-

Pain:

"Since Konan has gone shopping a lot and Sasori has used heaps of money to buy poison, not to mention Kisame who has bought this massive aquarium and Itachi who has bought white powder for his face and Hidan who has been going out lots and Zetsu who recently started on planting a garden and Tobi buying tons of sweets, the money drawer is now completely empty."

Deidara:

'AND you doing lots of those piercings...' O.o

Pain:

"Therefore, Kakuzu got an heart-attack of it. If he sees the drawer again, he will surely get a new heart-attack. Your mission is to collect money. Remember to be quick! After all Kakuzu has only got four hearts left!"

Deidara:

'ONLY four hearts left...' O.o

'Really? Yay! A mission... and a money making mission as well. Think I am going to die."

X_x

Pain:

"Dismissed!"

-:_:-


	5. 4 - Occupied

"Fucking open the door!" Hidan shouted for at least the tenth time.

They just ignored him.

Deidara focused and leaned closer, holding firmly, drawing the lines with the eyeliner.

Leader was inside, carefully putting on those contacts on his eyes.

Itachi was inside, adding tons of whitening foundation on his face.

"What the hell is wrong with them, they use fucking hours!" Hidan yelled.

"I guess Itachi needs to do his lines between his eyes and nose," Kisame said grinning.

"That brat needs to do his eyeliner," Sasori informed.

"They are all waisting money!" Kakuzu grumbled.

"I also want to use mascara," White Zetsu said, making Black Zetsu mad.

"You are NOT getting to use mascara," he said and White Zetsu looked at the ground sadly.

"Tobi is a good boy!"

Pain/Pein added his piercings one by one (they were fake, yes!).

Deidara brushed through his hair then tied it up into a ponytail.

Itachi did the lines between his nose and eyes.

Konan sighed, clearly tired of the trio always using tons of time in the morning. She was the only girl here, she was supposed to do that!

"TOBI NEEDS TO PEE!"

"Fucking no!"

"Help!" (White Zetsu)

"Not happening" (Black Zetsu)

"Twenty bucks for that"

"Do that and there'll be one more puppet in the collection."

"No, no. NO! NO!" (Kisame)

*sigh* (Konan)

"Tobi's sorry."

Others:

*evil glare*


	6. 5 - Spin the bottle

~Akatsuki night in the living room~

Tobi:

"TOBI WANTS TO SPIN IT! TOBI WANT TO SPIN THE BOTTLE!"

(o)))

Deidara:

"NO! I'll do it, yeah."

Inner self: 'Yey! I'm spinning it!' ^_^

Hidan:

"Fucking no! I am fucking doing it, bitch!" -.-

Pain/Pein:

*sigh*

"Spin the bottle Hidan."

'At least he won't be sending any of us to the hospital, I hope.'

Hidan:

*spinning the bottle VERY QUICKLY*

CX

Itachi:

"Hn." O_O

Sasori:

*looking bored*

Tobi:

"THE BOTTLE IS SPINNING! WEEEE!"

*jumping up and down*

Bottle:

'Oh my godness, is that kid mentally injured or what?' O_o

*smirk*

'Stops at the blonde, she looked hot!'

Hidan:

"Deidara. Truth or dare, bitch!"

Deidara:

"Truth, un!"

Hidan:

*smirks*

"You and your danna..."

Deidara:

*mad*

"That's not true, yeah! Totally lie! I am a MAN HM!"

Hidan:

"Okay, okay, bitch! Chill! I was just fucking curious."

Deidara:

"Hmph!"

*spinning bottle*

Bottle:

'Wtf! That blond was a man... O.o'

*Stopping at a quiet redhead looking bored*

Deidara:

"Truth or dare, danna?"

:)

Sasori:

*sigh*

"Truth, brat."

Deidara:

"No, un! Say dare, yeah, danna! I've got something!"

Sasori:

"No, I said truth, brat."

Deidara:

"Say dare, yeah!"

Sasori:

"This is the last time I say this. I said truth."

*scary glare at Deidara*

Deidara:

*shrug*

"Okay, hm. You're sure you do not feel anything, danna?"

Sasori:

*sigh*

"Of course."

*spinning bottle*

Bottle:

'Boring! Lets see...'

'HIM!'

*pointing at Kakuzu*

Sasori:

*looking bored*

Kakuzu:

"Truth."

Sasori:

"How much money do you have?"

Kakuzu:

*looking on guard...*

"$ 847,927,017,64"

Bottle:

O.o

Kakuzu:

*spinning bottle*

Bottle:

'Sharkie!'

Kakuzu:

"Truth or dare, Kisame?"

Kisame:

"Dare."

*sharkie smile*

Kakuzu:

"Ten bucks."

Kisame:

?-.-

O.o

:|

"WTF?!"

Kakuzu:

-.-

"Ten bucks."

Kisame:

*handing over some money*

*about to reach the bottle*

Kakuzu:

"This is nine bucks, one more."

Kisame:

O.o

*hand over another buck*

Kakuzu:

$.$

Kisame:

"Thruth or dare, Itachi?"

Itachi:

-/.\-

"Hn."

Hidan:

"That is not a fucking answer!"

Itachi:

*sigh*

"Dare."

Everybody else:

XO

'Whaaaaaaat?'

Itachi:

"Hn" -.-

Kisame:

*evil grin*

"Smile."

Itachi:

' mind: :S'

*using ages*

*pressing corners of lips upwards*

*smiling the ugliest smile ever possible! Gross!*

Bottle:

"O.O

'Is a smile that hard? Really?

'Oh! Maybe big mouth!'

*stopping at Hidan*

Itachi:

"Hn"

Hidan:

"Dare me, bitch!"

Itachi:

'Mind: grinning devilish'

-.-

"No swearing for one hour."

Hidan:

"You fu-... You freaking son of bit- who- FUC-"

"AAAAAAGHHHHH!"

Tobi:

"Truth OR DARE?"

*jumping up and down*

White Zetsu and Black Zetsu saying at the same time:

"TRUDARE!"

Tobi:

?

"WHAT DID ZETSU-SAN PICK?"

White Zetsu:

"Truth!"

Black:

"No, dare!"

WZ:

"Truth!"

BZ:

"DARE, for fucks sake!"

WZ:

*sobbing*

BZ:

"Oh no, this is bad..."

*starting to panick*

WZ:

*CRYING SO LOUD THAT THE MIRROR CRACKED*

BZ:

"We're leaving"

Zetsu:

*sinking down the ground*


	7. STORY FINISHED!

I'VE FINISHED MY FIRST STORY!

I know, I should never have written a NEW STORY before finishing the old ones, but I couldn't help. Our internet was out for two loooooooooooong weeks, so I finally got some time to be a real author and write!

You do not need to know anything about who Deidara is or what Naruto is, all you need to know is that Deidara is a fake character from the anime serie Naruto.

STORY NAME: WHEN I WAS SEVEN | Deidara Fanfiction

PLEASE READ! ^^


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